‘Being faithful to ourselves’ – it’s OK not to be in the moment

In this age of mindfulness we can be even more pressuring of ourselves to stop and feel and feel true, whatever this means. Mindfulness is a great tool but it is also OK not to be in the moment as perhaps we have learnt to cut off or be less in tune to cope with life. The school of life video expresses this well https://www.mindful.org/its-ok-not-to-be-in-the-moment/

In Cognitive Analytic Therapy we consider observing ourselves lightly, without judgement, a more helpful way of being but also recognise that this is hard to do when one is used to critiquing their every move.  Being faithful to ourselves and recognising our own expectations and the weight of these at times, can be helpful and we hope in the New Year we can take it easy on ourselves.


Befriending anxiety

Stepping back from anxiety and trying not to fight it is one way of feeling more at peace. This article is interesting in how it describes anxiety and how our response in not stopping and listening may make things harder.

In Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) we do consider how we relate to an anxious state of being, how we may try to avoid it by stepping into the avoidant or pleasing trap, contributing to more anxiety. In reflecting on this in therapy we can often start to consider other options.

Facing the Tiger: Welcoming Anxiety’s Fierce Wisdom

Listening to podcasts – a different voice

Here at In Dialogue we often get clients tell us what is helpful. Recently I have had a few people suggest the podcast ‘No Feeling is Final’ by Holly Eastly ABC. I had a listen and was struck by how she explained the extreme self critical voice and how it gets airplay through fear, just like our media, at times does. Here at In Dialogue, using Cognitive Analytic Therapy, we think about how these voices can colour our world and relationships often leading to a conflicted relationship with them. Holly does suggest things that could be helpful when you get stuck in a one kinda of voice, such as writing about them or voicing them to others who may open up a dialogue.

It is pretty heavy going at times so please listen when feeling OK enough.

Sharing our story through art

This article caught my eye as art therapy is gaining more evidence. Therapy is about making sense of things with another person who is non judgmental and can help us reflect on things we couldn’t by ourselves. Expressing ourselves through art may be another way of sharing and understanding our experience. It can help us start to relate to ourselves in a different way too as one woman has described in the article. She started to notice how brave she is through sharing her story.


Finding the words

One of the ways in which therapy fosters healing and change is by putting into words our experiences – the fleeting thoughts, the felt emotions – which prior to this often hovered under our awareness but impacted us none-the-less.  We love the idea behind this, to expand our repertoire of describing our experiences by looking beyond our own language and culture.


Self harm

Some young people cope with feelings of distress through self harm. But it continues to not be addressed properly – Orygen are starting the conversation. Read more…