Some of us bottle up feelings until we feel like a shaken lemonade bottle, ready to explode. At these times we can let off steam but then feel guilty as we have felt we have gone over the top in our blame of the other. It can be useful to notice what we are fearful of when we go to bottle up feelings – perhaps we are worried someone will leave us or see a side of us that we worry they wont like. perhaps reject? However, hiding our true feelings can lead to more explosions and then the reactions we fear, such as someone getting emotionally hurt that is hard to recover from.
Here are some good tips to argue effectively. We think they are useful in staying respectful of yourself and the one you are arguing with.
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2017/01/08/how-to-argue-effectively/